TheWalkingDead: Different Back Then - MiltonxPhilip
by OrphanHooligan
Summary: SPOILERS FOR S3. Milton is dying, and his life passes through his eyes. He and Philip used to have something special... Has Philip forgotten them? Why did he kill Milton? Had he really changed, and didn't care about Milton anymore? He has so much questions, yet no answers or any kind.


The Walking Dead

Season 3

(I have not yet seen the season 4, so no spoilers please)

Sexual themes and mild gore

Milton / Philip

* * *

**Different Back Then**

Milton felt how deep the stabs were, and how quickly his blood ran from his body. He felt cold, and he couldn't see well. He could barely speak out words. All he was able to think about now, was why did Philip stab him? Has he really changed so much from the days before they even met Andrea and Michonne? From the days before this whole thing started? Before _the_ _biters?_

Milton moved his fingers a bit to know he was still alive. To feel he was alive. But he was going to die. He knew it, Andrea before him knew it, and so did Philip. It was his intention to kill him. _Why?_ Didn't he feel the way he used to feel? Milton sighed deep, silently and with a shivering voice. He couldn't see so well anymore, he barely could see Andrea.

In his head, he asked why. _Why, why, __**why**_, all over again. He didn't know. No, he didn't want to admit it. He had told Andrea that Philip was still the same man he used to be. Was he? Had he really changed so much? So much that he just didn't care anymore? Care about Milton? Has he lost his mind, his feelings? Has he forgotten, what he meant for Milton? Has he forgotten about the good old days, the days when they used to feel love?

When Milton realized Philip had been sleeping with Andrea, it hurt Milton. Hurt so badly, he felt stabs to his heart. But they didn't hurt as much as the real stabs. Stabs, led by the knife in Philip's hand.

He still couldn't believe he was going to die by Philip's hand. Now, when it was too late, Milton realized he should've seen it coming. He should've stopped Philip, warned him. Tell him he loved him more often. _Not to betray him_. Nowadays, when Philip had no time to share for Milton more than about work, their relationship was based mostly on loyalty. But Milton cherished that time, those moment he was closest to Philip. They didn't need words so much to show their love to each other, but Milton missed those words from the Governor.

Milton coughed some blood. Andrea spoke to him something, but the man didn't hear her. He couldn't figure out the words, he heard only mumbling. Milton once asked Philip about Andrea, and the fact they were sleeping together. Philip had chuckled.

_"It is just to keep her eyes away from things she mustn't see. Just a distraction, Milton"_, he had said. Milton had been able to bring up a small smile when Philip had placed a soft kiss on his lips. That was the last time he kissed him. He hadn't had sex with Philip since Andrea came. Was he just lusting for a woman? Milton wasn't good enough anymore…? Or was that, because _he changed?_

Milton was sure he was telling the truth. _Was he, or was that a lie as well? _He could only guess how long the Governor had been lying. Would it have been better if he had let Andrea shoot him earlier? Would everything have stopped there, would more lives have been saved? He didn't know… _He didn't know._

Milton remembered how soft and loving Philip had been, how happy and warm. In the beginning of Woodbury, he and Philip spent more time together. They worked together, had coffee breaks together… They slept together. They made love, they held hands and kissed. Of course this happened only when no one else was watching. He used to think it hurt, when Philip pushed in him. When Philip came out and back in again. It hurt for the few first thrusts, but eventually he got used to it. But not with these stabs. He was still able to feel the pain. His body ached, and so did his heart. Philip broke his heart, and it was not fixable. Not anymore.

Is there a chance Philip would read his notebook? He hoped the man would… He had written things about Philip in there as well… Things, like how much he still loved and cared for him. Maybe Philip would then realize he still cared? Maybe he would feel some, _regret_? Maybe Philip would remember those days, when he used to tell Milton how much he loved him. Milton breathed in, unable to take another breath. A small tear dropped from his eye, he hoped Philip wouldn't forget about him. He hoped Philip would remember the good old days, and remember how happy they were. He hoped-


End file.
